The Self Hate Of A Woman (I cry)

In my first post of 2013, I come telling the truth about the hate I have for myself as a woman. And the hate I know you have also had as a Women or will have. I have embarked into this year full of change. I have had to let go of all my comfort and wants to strive for more of myself. But before I do this so bravely I am releasing and facing my fears of the Hate I have as a woman. Everyday of my life I have watched and experience the plight we have as women, and we are tired, deranged and sad. So I cry.  No matter our race are plights are the same, we all are self sacrificing human beings; from the blood we shed every muthafucking month, the lives we carry, the birth we give, the compromises me make, all within the setting of a cruel and unloving world. I hate it and I hate being a woman within it. It is so confusing and frustrating loving and hating the life of a woman. I see my children and through them I am able to know unconditional love, but not without the sacrifice of our own lives. Along with that we are faced with the total and utterly betrayal of our Fathers, Brothers, Lovers and Sons. They never knowing how to truly respect and appreciate their Mothers, Daughters, Sisters, and Lovers. Instead they want to control, rape and abandon us at one extreme and on the other extreme they want to be like us acting as if they are more woman than a woman with out every knowing her plight. But thank GOOOODness I have Faith, and I know despite all of this there is a Damn good reason for it all; and I believe it is to know the true Love and Power I am and We are as women. This is what this blog/page is for; for us as women to come to realize and know this Truth together.

Reality TV Relationship Review

Since Reality TV supposedly is a depiction of what peoples lives are really like, it is interesting to me how women of all types have the same kinds of problems with men no matter rich or poor they are similar. If you are not a lesbian and are single, dating, or married we all have the pursuit of cohabiting with men in common. I was watching Crissy and Mr Jones show and realized Jim Jones is the perfect depiction of what most Black men are like. And that is highly focused on His(not their) life and what he is and wants to do, I believe this to be a trait of all men not just black men. But as soon as she leaves him he then realizes all her value and is more than willing to give her the attention she has been asking for. While watching this all I could think of is why do we have to leave to get our mans attention about our relationships. I see this as the ultimate male issue for women. They are selfish, self centered, one track minded, and often take the value of the woman completely for granted. Is the solution to leave, does this correct or remove the issue or does it just get him to act right until he gets you back and he is comfortable again. Just look at Nene Leaks and how her man is pursuing her all over again after their divorce. Also Lil Scrappy and Erica along with Emily and Fabs relationship is another good example of this kind of issue. It is so frustrating and disheartening to spend so much of our lives giving to men who is not willing or able to give as much as we do. Why do we as women have to declare our Independence to them to get them to want and appreciate us. I mean Fuck the women in the reality shows have been with these men for years and most  still aren't even married yet and that is what women seem to want the most, just so he can do the same shit while their married. Is there any kind of solution to these kinds of issues, is it to stay single and just engage with men when they are willing and able to give and do what we want. What do you think.

Saving yourself for marriage

Anyone with a strong or strict religious back ground knows when it comes to sex the most that is discussed is to wait until you are married, most of the time. It being the best or most holy thing to do. When I was about sixteen, the peak of my puberty, my desire for sex was at its most intense and it was truly painful to even try to act like I didn’t want to have sex. I had the dilemma of feeling bad for wanting to have sex and feeling or believing that if I had sex I would be committing a great sin so I either had to choose sex or God. All I have to say is that’s a terrible place to be for any age but especially as a teenager at the peak of puberty. Not that anyone is actually doing that, except the very few who are, I just wanted to express how full of SHIT the thought of waiting until you are married is. I think it’s the worst suggestion you could give to a young girl. Why, because for most girls their first time is not the most pleasant experience, you know when your hymen is broken and you bleed. I wouldn’t wish that to be mine or my daughters experience on her honeymoon, and why would anyone? Then there is the inexperience that you would have if you waited until you were married and how horrible it would be to have a partner who is just as inexperienced as you. If you have never given oral sex how well would you do it the first time. How would you come to know what you really like about sex if you’re limited to experiencing one person most of your life. No variety and no way to even know what kind of dick you like, except the one or few that you’ve had. Which I’m pretty sure after so many years that has gotten boring.  Please don’t take this as encouragement to be promiscuous; I don’t think you need to have sex with 100 people to know what you like. I’m just saying can we be realistic so we girls and women don’t have to feel bad for having different partners. It took me a while to stop counting how many people I had sex with or just lying about it. As if there was a limit to how many partners I could have before I got married so I wouldn’t feel like a slut. I’m actually glad to have had the sex partners I’ve had so I can be sure about what I do and don’t like about sex. (before I get married) Each partner had a different kind of dick, physic and way of fucking. So now I’m able to tell a man what I do and don’t want and how would I know if I hadn’t had different experiences with different men.

Afrodisiac Food.

Food to get your sexual juices flowing; my favorite is fried oysters. Mmm Mmmm absolutely love them. I swear they will have your pussy throbbing saying give me dick pretty pretty please.  I think they even get you an organs much easier and faster. I found it kind of interesting that oysters kind of remind me of a vagina, don’t you think.  Their mushy and gushy with a strong odor (good or bad) and they even have lips. I haven’t tried them raw but steamed or fried WOW. If you can get your man to eat them you’ll have even more fun, both of you might be cumming for days. Really and truly I’m speaking from experience. The last time I had some I had over 8 orgasms and they were different kinds of orgasms. You must know how hard it is to get that many orgasm and they be different kinds in one round of sex, this has only happened about three times in my life. So when and if sex gets boring or dull oysters can add a little get back in your life and leave you wondering what happened and where did all that super charged sexual appetite come from or go.

Anal Sex: Yea or Nay

So what exactly is Anal sex really all about, I mean  how is it that a women ever acquires a liking for it. OK at some point she either considers trying it or is convinced by some one to try it. So what is the thresh hold of when the pain ends and the pleasure begins. Some say its all about releasing resistance and just receiving. But I still think it takes some type of freak to like that shit though. And I mean shit literally. I just can't get over how pain full it is. But being a female and all and considering the fact that the first time any girl has had sex it was probably unpleasant to some degree.

As you might be able to tell I have tried it but didn't go through with it fully, even if I had of I still don't think it would be something I would consider continuously doing, since I assume it would take some practice to get used to and be able to gain pleasure from. While considering and contemplating on yea or nay of anal sex, I asked myself what are the reason for even considering it. And I thought that maybe I might be missing out on a different kind of pleasure I am unaware of until I completely engage in the act. Maybe I could consider doing it for my man if that's what he likes.  Those were the only two reason I could think of considering it for. While contemplating the subject I couldn't help but have a negative out look and attitude about it. Maybe its because its not considered the most descent way to engage in sex, or because its mostly how gay men engage in sex and why would I have to or even want to engage in an act that's not naturally pleasing. I mean its not really about the ass hole Right, its supposed to be about my pussy. Last time I checked the anus is a hole we both have and SHIT out of , that is its functioning purpose. So as far as I'm concerned about engaging in the act for the sake of pleasing my man, Is not It! He might as well go fuck a man in his ass that likes it because I don't think its fair that he wants to fuck me in the ass with his dick (fingers maybe), but if I ask him, if I let him do that will he let me put on a strap and fuck him in the ass too, that's all ways a NOOO; unless. I just figure if a man wanted me to endure that kind of pain for the sake of pleasing him, I think he should be willing to do the same for me. I wouldn't really want him to agree with doing that but I would be able to find out some things about him by his response to it. Some things like; does he have a tendency to be gay, be a selfish lover, or very strait.

Any way, if I every came across a situation when he would be willing to take me up on getting did too, Then........... I think I would try it. Two reasons:  1. I would get to see if I could every end up liking it, finding some pleasure out of it some how or not. 2. I would get to find out if I enjoy taking a mans place and fucking him and seeing and experience how he might feel to be fucked. Kinda something like switching roles.

I am inexperienced in this, and never really thought this hard about the subject. So for those who might of tried or considered trying this. What are your experience and thoughts on it Lady's.

Dick taking abilities

So last week I was watching the movie Super Bad. Really funny white boy shit, Had me cracking up the whole movie, but kinda gay. Anyway there was a part when the fat boy was talking about the skinny boys girl he liked. He said she looks like she can take a dick. The skinny boy was offended by him saying that about her then the fat boy said why man some women pride them selves on the ability to take dick.

I never thought about that until I heard him say that. Do women pride them selves on their ability to take dick? Well we know a prostitute might but other than them do you or me. I have to say I think I do; Big smile.  My boy friend who I was watching this movie with happens to have a big dick. And I do like being able to handle his dick. Even though he is really attractive I wasn't that eager to have sex with him. Men who are really attractive always get pussy its very easy for them, so I was trying to make it a little harder for him. Until I saw his dick, then I new we were going to fuck really soon. It was just a question of whether I could handle his dick and how he would work it, and the only way to know was to try it. Again I have to say its been a nice fucking experience, LOL. Its not that I haven't had a big dick before there just all different in shape and size, and it all depends on what you like and what he does.

I can officially say I pride myself on my dick taking abilities and I hope every girl in the world can. Work that pussy! Pussy should be able to accommodate any kind of dick. Its pussy and it births babies, every man loves it even the ones who claim they don't (they come from one and want to have one), and we as women should love it to. We have the power so work it girl.